My name is Matt Eamer, and it’s a privilege to share a piece of my life with you. Over the past few years, I’ve embarked on a journey alongside stage four bowel cancer, a path that has significantly shaped my life and those around me. My story isn’t just about the challenges and trials, it’s about the small victories, the strength of empathy, and the power of human connection.
A Journey Unplanned
In September 2020, my life took an unexpected turn. I found myself in an emergency room facing severe abdominal pain, which soon led to an unforeseen diagnosis-bowel cancer. At the age of 39, my understanding of this disease was limited. What I thought was a mere bout of indigestion turned out to be much more significant.Â
From this moment, my journey through the healthcare system has been both enlightening and challenging, granting me a unique perspective.
Family Focus
Family is central to my life-as a husband and father, I’m determined to maintain normalcy. My two wonderful children, Alex and Emma, offer a bright perspective on this heavy journey, even turning difficult topics into simple childhood inquiries.
As with many parents, my initial reaction was to protect them by downplaying our situation. However, I realised there was value in honesty, in sharing the true complexity of our journey, helping them to understand and learn. It’s a delicate balance between shielding them and arming them with knowledge and compassion. One that benefits from external help too such as time with a child psychologist, you can’t do it all alone.
Healthcare and Humanity
Through numerous treatments and consultations, I’ve learned how fundamental clear, compassionate communication is. Behind every diagnosis is a person; someone like you and me, with dreams, fears, and a life that stretches beyond clinical charts. Unfortunately, it’s easy for healthcare experiences to become dehumanised, where patients feel defined by their conditions rather than seen as individuals.
One profound piece of advice I’d echo is to share your story – make it part of your care narrative. Hiding emotions to maintain strength can sometimes isolate you from those who need to understand your reality the most. Moreover, we should also encourage healthcare professionals to make eye contact, listen actively, and share information transparently.
Empowerment Through Information
Knowledge became my ally early on. The prognosis alone was overwhelming, but I sought to understand my disease better, arming myself with as much information as possible—turning the unknown into my known battleground. This led me to connect with various forums and groups, connecting me with courageous individuals like Dame Deborah James, who became a part of my journey.
The Importance of Communication
I can’t overstate the importance of effective communication. Words carry weight, and sometimes, just a simple change in phrasing can bridge a gap between despair and hope. Clear, honest discourse, sprinkled with realistic positivity, can alleviate anxiety for patients awaiting results or embarking on treatment.
I’ve experienced firsthand where communication could benefit from a more personalised approach – especially during sessions when logistical or medical updates are being shared. Patients often need reassurance in straightforward terms, resonating with their personal experiences and capacity for absorption at the time.
Personalising the Patient Experience
Navigating appointments and treatments was initially daunting. However, over time, it became apparent that organising my medical engagements around my life, rather than the reverse, was fundamental. This coordination in healthcare appointments is crucial for sustaining a semblance of normalcy, particularly for individuals with active, multifaceted lives outside their diagnosis.
Looking Forward with Hope
Lastly, I want to emphasise the significance of hope, not just the concept of it but embedding it into routine conversations about treatment and life expectancy. Healthcare professionals are powerful allies in this process, offering quiet encouragement with every discussion about possible outcomes.
In sharing my journey through stages of treatment, family life, and self-discovery, I hope to inspire both patients and caregivers to dream beyond the disease. Remember, we are people before patients, and together, with empathy and understanding, we can improve the journey for all involved.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
Matt Eamer
